Random Mind Dumplings 17

*A little less than a month ago, my wife peed on four different pregnancy tests and all of them were positive.  Sometime next February I will a Father...scary thought, huh?  Lady Karma will have to work overtime to make sure this Child does not become a Sarcastic Smart-Ass...like me.

*Regarding my recent review of 311's latest Album "Universal Pulse," I am hoping we live in a day and age where people are no longer surprised that a Black Man listens to something else other than Hip-Hop.  311 has been my favorite group since 1996...which is almost half of my life.

*Attempting to satisfy a TEA Party Member is as useless as attempting to bring a woman with no clit nor G-spot to an orgasm.  It's like having phone sex with a deaf girl.

*Why am I seeing more guys in the gym wearing baseball caps?  If gyms had no mirrors, they would never show up.

*I knew books stores where doomed when the Amazon Kindle was invented.  You think places like Barnes & Noble, Borders, and Walden Books would have become more "digital" to keep up with the times.  I still like cracking open a good paperback every once in a while...call me old school. 

*Either the Douche-Bag population is vastly increasing or the word "Douche-Bag" is becoming overused.

*My only shot at having a threesome is to clone my wife...and even then, I think there would be a little bit of jealousy involved. 

*If you are not a Tax Payer, you have no right to complain about how Tax Dollars are being spent. 

*The biggest lesson that I learned from the NFL Lockout:  College Football is more stable and entertaining.  The NCAA will never have a lockout.

*I love how some restaurants are banning children.  Walmart should be next.