Death of a "Would Be" Poet

Ever so often I get asked why I don't write poetry anymore. Honestly, I'm surprised someone asked. I lost my creative touch right around the same time I moved into the building across the street from where I worked and became a workaholic.

Prior to that I spent a lot of time in my truck commuting through Atlanta traffic to and from downtown via a suburb 35 miles northwest of my office. When I was on the road, I thought...a lot.

Prior to that I didn't have a truck or the job downtown. I rode MARTA (Metro Atlanta Rail Transit Authority) and CCT (Cobb County Transit...blah blah blah, I'll stop boring you with the details) to and from my job at a grocery store deli. When I was on that bus, I thought...a lot.

Prior to that, I spent a lot of time in boring liberal arts classes in college. Anyone who knows me knows that I could really give a damn about Philosophy, Shakesphere (I spelled it wrong on purpose), and anything else non-math related taught above a high school level. When I was stuck in those classes, I thought...a lot.

Do you see a pattern? The lack of idle thinking time to write poetry decreased my urge to ...well..write poetry. Since July of 2003 (the month and year I moved into a loft across the street from my job) my truck has only been driven 3,000 miles. Since then I have never had to ride the CCT bus. With the invention of the laptop computer with wireless internet access, Blackberry's, and MP3 players, DVR, and XBox Live, it is safe to say that idle thinking time to write poetry has vanished off of the face of the earth.

Karma Reaper's Introduction to the Regular Guys

I have recently embedded a stream of "The Regular Guys" morning show just below the Daily Dilbert comic strip. For those who are not familiar with the morning show, here is a brief introduction: This is a morning show that I have been listening to on the radio for the past year and a half. It airs on FM 100.5 Atlanta's Rock station.

The cast mainly made up four Regular Guys: Larry, Eric, "Southside" Steve and Tim Andrews. "Mix Master" Mark is not a Regular Guy but he supports with traffic, sports, and other functions of the show. Sebastian a.k.a. "Sea-Bass" is another member of the show who conducts various interviews to Atlanta's unsuspecting public. All of these gentlemen are hilarious...but different in every way.

Larry runs most of the controls and I mainly think of him as a Smart-Ass Conservative Jew. He is quick to spout his opinion and whine about politics, sexism, racism, the economy and so on. When it comes to politics, he sounds like a Spoiled Scorned Republican Sore-loser with sand in his vagina. He is quick to complain about Obama, liberals, and any Democrat with a pulse. Although I disagree with him on a lot of things (and roll my eyes when he goes into a political rant), I wouldn't have it any other way...do you know why??? Because it's funny as hell. If I wanted to listen to unfunny Conservative Political commentary, I would listen to an AM station.

Eric is the co-pilot and I mainly think of him as the Intellectual Voice of Reason for the show. I like listening to his "New Jogs" and the commentary that follows the headlines that he reads. I say this often, but if I was ever talked into voting Republican for an election, Eric is the only one on earth that could do it. He brings sensible points to Larry's right wing rants, but he considers himself more of an independent. I also love it when religion is argued about on the show being that Eric is the only Atheist.

"Southside" Steve is the Show's walking hormone. Being best known for his "conquests" of over 400 women, he is the designated Lady's Man of the show. This good old Southern Christian boy is the only guy on the show with a southern accent and has a reputation of flirting with many of the Show's interns (who the fuck wouldn't?). He brings a good dose of comedy to the show although the other guys love to test his intelligence.

For some weird reason, Tim Andrews is always announced by first and last name. He is the shows producer as well as impressionist. Some of my favorite impressions he does are Barny Frank, George Bush, and (believe it or not) Barack Obama. He may be the shows only partial Liberal and has the wits to match Larry on various political discussions. Although he has worked with Larry, Eric and Southside Steve for years, he recently became an official Regular guy just about a year ago. I think he is the funnies guy on the show.

Last but not least Sea-Bass is the guy on the street...literally. I know how accurate this is, but Sebastian is a Graduate of Georgia Tech, works for the Regular Guys, but he is homeless. Now, I'm not saying he is walking around wearing rags and asking for change...he just doesn't have an address. Weird. Anyway, he conducts various interviews as well as gather funny ass materials and audio for the show. A popular game he conducts is called "Answering Under the Influence" in which he goes to a bar, finds someone who is drunk off their ass, and then asks them various trivia questions. The next day, on the show, callers can guess whether or not the drunk will say the correct answer for prizes.

In a nutshell, I think it is a funny ass show. Many of my coworkers have gotten used to the sound of me laughing in my cubicle from 6 to 10 in the morning (eastern time). You can also visit their official website. I have a link on the "Where I Get My Information" portion of this page. Whenever you get the time, give these Obnoxious DJ's a listen. If have thick skin and like to laugh, this may be the morning show for you.

Random Mind Dumplings 11

*DAYUM.....It's been one hell of a month. I think I drank so much I forgot to post on this site. I hope I didn't disappoint all three of you that read this stuff (Crys~ you are wonderful).

*I'm getting really fucking tired of people using political reasons to justify their prejudice. If they are not prejudice, then they must be sore losers to keep focusing on the Birth Certificate issue. Just give up!!!!

*The "Professor Gates" issue in Cambridge? The Professor didn't have to raise hell to an Officer asking him for identification. The Officer didn't have to arrest an Elderly Professor for disorderly conduct. It was a Pissing Contest...end of story.

*By the way, does anyone give a damn who the 911 caller was in the Henry Louis Gates scandal? Why is she in the news? Why is she being interviewed? Is there nothing else going on out there?

*Why do people write in "Ghetto?" I completely understand why people talk Ghetto, but typing? I can't even read what some people put on Facebook, I need to hire an interpreter from High School to translate that shit. On a related note, people that type in all capital letters should stay the fuck away from the keyboard.

*I often wonder what my Fiancee sees in me. While I was proposing there was a small voice in my head that said "she might still say no." I'm not rich nor good-looking...it might be my sense of humor. I always get nervous when she doesn't laugh at my corny jokes.

*Isn't strange how Michael Jackson's fan base multiplied after he passed away?

*I have to think of another poem to put on this page but can't figure out which one. Since I stopped writ ting this crap in College, I'm dealing with a limited am out of stuff to choose from. My creativity died right around the time I decided to be an Engineer.

*I hate it when Women that wear Booty Shorts look at you funny when they catch you looking at them. If you didn't want people to look at you, wear a Burqa or something. Either that or stay the hell at home, people can't look at you in your Booty Shorts there...unless they are trespassing.

Random Mind Dumplings 10

*I think what has happened to Neda in Iran is a damn shame. I'm all for the Women's movement in the recent Iranian protests and encourage their further involvement. With all that being said, and I'd hate to sound like some Douche bag American Male, but...some of those Iranian Women are really hot!!!!!!

*I am really interested in how this Braves vs. Yankees series is going to be. I plan to go to one of the games and doubt I will be sober enough to give a damn who wins.

*Since my 30th Birthday is coming up, I'm thinking of a list of things guys should stop doing or "give up" by the age of 30. I'm only writing such list to fully vindicate what I do between now and my birthday that most would find "immature for someone my age."

*Have you ever sat back and thought about the first time you farted in front of your significant other?

*What happened to John and Kate didn't really surprise me at all. That's usually what happens to married couples in which the Woman is used to dominating everything and then...all of a sudden...the Man grows balls. Marriages usually don't last between two hard-headed people. Constantly having a camera up your ass didn't help the marriage either.

*Speaking of balls, North Korea has some searious sacks don't they? They are "warning" the world to stay out of their waters! That is the equivalent of a dude with a small dick showing up to a gang bang saying "that bitch is mine!"

*As the weather gets warmer and the days get longer, I have noticed that people at my job have had a harder time being productive nor paying attention to the tasks at hand. I am one of those people.

*If you are at the gym and the woman on the treadmill next to you has on make up, her hair is done, and her purse is haning from one of the handles...she's not there to work out. Yep...I just figured that out.

*Why do people who have tattoos on their necks still expect to be respected and taken seriously?

*I plan to bring something to pee in when I go see the Bruno movie so I wont piss my pants (July 10th at a theater near you).

*I used to think that the only way a woman could get a yeast infection was to sleep with a guy who ate a lot of bread. I also thought Toxic Shock Syndrome had something to do with electricity.

Killing In The Name Of...

Ok, we have a Doctor getting shot while attending church by a Pro-Life Protester. We have an Armed Services Recruiter shot while taking a smoke break by a Radical Muslim. Finally we have a Security Guard shot while on duty by a White Supremacist. What do these three have in common? They are all senseless acts in which the innocent victim dies and the aggressor ends up giving their “cause” a bad image.

Regardless of whether or not you are Pro-Choice or Pro-Life, no one deserves to get shot in the head while attending Church. That is why I am proud to say that anyone who is in support of the killer…should have been aborted themselves. I recall that bumper sticker that made me chuckle a few years back: “Guns don’t kill people. Abortion Protesters kill people.” Was that a Pro-Life sticker??? Maybe, but the point has been made: killing Doctors who perform abortions will not make the abortions stop. Even if Roe vs. Wade is overturned the abortions will not stop…so what’s the point in killing? What’s the point of being Pro-Life when death is being used to further your cause?

Did the Radical Muslim think he would make a huge impact when he killed one Recruiter in front of his office? The only thing he made was the news. The biggest impact will be felt by the Recruiter’s Family, not by the Department of Defense. One thing that worried me after September 11th is that American Muslims would have to face the fallout from that event. Although this event is nothing compared to September 11th, this event does not help American Muslims at all. I’m sure even the Anti-American Muslims are sitting back saying, “What the fuck was that guy thinking? He wasn’t one of us!”

White Supremacists crack me up. The terrorists are not denying what they did on September 11th, why are White Supremacists denying the Holocaust? Plus, how does going into a Holocaust museum and killing a Guard make more people want to join or respect your “movement.” I understand that hate groups are getting riled up because of the tanking economy and the election of a Black President. You can hate all you want, that is your right, but when it comes to killing, you are just making things worse for yourself in the end. You may be making a statement, but you are not making a difference.

Random Mind Dumplings 9

*Why is it a growing trend for suicidal people to take other lives before taking their own (Columbine, Virginia Tech, the Professor at UGA, the "disgruntled worshipper" who shot up a church in Alabama). Save some ammo and shoot yourself first.

*I think Childhood Obesity is getting out of control. Some kids these days are starting to look like that Yellow Peanut M&M on all of those commercials.

*I think Women that expect Mother's Day cards from their Pets (but prepared by their Men) are completely full of shit. I've dealt with a few bad ass puppies and kittens, but nothing compares to the wrath a bad ass child brings.

*Now that I think of it, remind me to buy some condoms.

*Why are people still giving a damn about what Dick Chaney has to say? If you have just retired as the Vice President (I hear the White House pension plan is wonderful) and have nothing to do with the rest of your life but spend money and vacation, wouldn't you do just that?

*After having my arm twisted a few times, I decided to do the Facebook thing. I have often hesitated to do it because I always thought it would be a final confirmation of how much of a loser I actually am. I don't get out much and trust me...it shows.

*Although this web page may look kinda morbid, I am not fascinated with death or anything. I just know that it is one of the only two things all human beings have in common. The other of the two things is birth, but making a page that portrays birth is kinda creepy. Imagine a huge Vagina where there Reaper is.

*I have gotten complaints about how "horrible" the Standard Definition Karma Picture is. Just for you Whiners, here is a picture of me that I think is much more horrible:

*Now that I think of it here is my disclaimer: The thoughts and view expressed on this page solely those of the Entity known as Karma Reaper.

*Happy belated Mother's Day to all of you Mother's, Expecting Mom's, and to all of you Ladies that are "running a little late."

Random Mind Dumplings 8

*There is an e-mail going around that has about a dozen police department mugshots of people wearing different types Pro-Obama T-Shirts. "There MUST be a message here..." was written at the bottom of the e-mail. I'll tell you what the message was: "Dumbasses that get arrested sometimes wear T-shirts." If I was to gather a bunch of mug shots of people wearing Lynard Skynard T-shirts, the message would be the same.

*Although I got rid of the whole "enema" theme, I will keep my random thought issues titled "Dumplings" mainly because I have had 7 prior issues. I replaced the "enema" theme with a "harvest" theme.

*Fuck Perez Hilton. What business does a Pillow Biting Fairy like him have judging a beauty pageant? Shouldn't he have been judging the "Mr. U.S.A. Pageant?" A Woman's stance on Gay Marriage should have nothing to do with the damn pageant. I don't know what was more ridiculous, his question or his reaction to her answer.

*A fifth grader here in Atlanta recently commited suicide due to being constantly bullied at school. A few years ago, a girl killed her self after being bullied over the Internet. Kids, this might sound a bit insensitive but the bullies are there to prepare you for the real assholes you'll meet later on in life as a grown up.

*There is a lot of talk about that Woman who hired a look-a-like stripper to go to her 10 year High School Reunion instead of showing up the the reunion herself. Although it was a pretty damn good idea, I can't help but to wonder how much of a loser she was 10 years ago.

*Do you ever wonder how many "reality TV stars" are actually employed? How many American Idol winners actually become an American Idol. How many engagements on "The Bachelor", "Flavor of Love", "I Love New York", "Rock of Love", and "A Shot At Love" actually turned into a succesful marriage? Does anyone really give a shit about the past winners of all of those "Survivor" shows? When reality TV shows take over ESPN, I'm going to jump off of a bridge.

*I have determined that it is perfectly fine for a man to sit down to pee only under the condition that he is too drunk or hungover to stand up. I've been doing it for a while with great results. You wont even hear me bitching about the toilet seat either because although I may be drunk, I have enough sense to check the seat before sitting on it (yep, Ladies...I went there).

The Town that Prepared Me for Las Vegas

Out of all the friends I had to leave behind in Vacaville, California I miss one the most. He would have been 30 years old today. I'm not one to linger on depressing issues so I usually do what I do best...avoid those issues. I can't avoid this issue today because this IS his day. He was my best friend and his name was Tyler Golson.

Many people that know me would most likely classify me as a "teenage boy trapped in a man's body." I would sugar coat that by saying that I "grew old before I ever grew up." There is a reason behind all of this immaturity. I have been having a hard time getting past the mindset of a 17 year old which is the same age Tyler was when he passed away. His death was the end of a huge chapter of my life that I have never wanted to close.

In my mind, the chapter will always stay open. I often have different types of dreams in which I find out that his death was a hoax. The most frequent dream is that instead of dying, he fell into a coma. In these dreams, he regains conciousness and we spend hours upon hours of catching up on all the stuff he missed out on since June 15, 1996, the day he died.

I'd like to see the look on his face when I tell him that they have made three X-Men movies (our favorite comic book out of all the ones we collected). I often imagine how he would react to me signing onto X-Box live and watching me play next generation video games with people around the country. I would like to take him to a strip bar and show him how fun it is to flirt and interact with women (even naked ones).

So when you really think about it, the first three things that come to my mind if I ever was to see him again would be comic books, video games, and strippers...just like your typical teenage boy. Sometimes I have the mindset of a 17 year old; I want to still be able to relate to him when he comes back. In the end, I don't know what's worse, waking up realizing it was all just a dream or waking up, looking in the mirror, and realizing that I am staring at the face of someone who is almost almost 30.

The fourth X-Men movie is coming out May 1rst and I plan to go see it. It will be one of the last movies I see in my twenties. Sometimes I feel like I'm leaving him behind. I just can't see myself getting older without him, and yet, I am getting older without him.

Memory Resurrection

*I wrote this one in college when I got in an Edgar Allen Poe mood to describe exactly what kept me from getting enough sleep when I needed it the most*

My room was cold in the midst of night.
It was full of eerie pale moonlight.

Ancient whispers and dancing shadows,
Had crept on through my small cracked windows.
The shadows had danced upon my bed.
The whispers lingered above my head.
I woke from sleep, but not alarmed.
The whispering shadows had meant no harm.
Across my room the shadows would dance.
I sat up in bed in a dream like trance.
They whispered the songs of yesterday,
And danced to them in a ghostly way.
Moments later I found out at last,
These shadows were messengers of my past.
They were thoughts that were lost but not left behind,
Memories forgotten but still on my mind.

During that day I’d never thought they might,
Come back and haunt me in the midst of night.

Random Mind Dumplings 7

*Do you ever get the impression that you are uglier than you think you are. Doesn't it freak you out when You find out that you are not your harshest critic?
*Why are Casey Anthony and Octomom (Clown Car Coochie) still in the news?
*As a child, when I acted crazy in a grocery store, my mother would kick my ass. Why is it that parents look offended when I have my "I'm gonna knock the shit out of your loud ass child" look on my face? I'm just trying to help.
*Let's settle this once and for all: Is The Watchmen a good movie or not? I have heard some crazy reviews from both extreams. Some people liked it, some people fell asleep and snored.
*Today, I learned that it is better to lend many my ears but few my voice. The stuff you hear should go through your brain and not straight to your heart.
*Lindsey Lohan is bl aiming "obsessive fans" for her failure to land serious roles in successful movies. If her "obsessive fans" include Jack Daniels, Jose Cuervo, and Jim Beam, then she has a point.
*Can Vegetarians perform fellatios? They're not really eating it.
*I hope other people know that there is a good chance that companies other than AIG could possibly be using bail out money to pay out bonus to their executives.
*I am beginning to think that programs like W.I.C. (welfare) unconsciously discourages two parent households. When a husband/father figure appears, so do the W.I.C. funds...so why have a father figure in the first place?
*If I could re-live the night I lost my virginity, I wouldn't have giggled so much.
*I would like to kick the ass of the person who came up with the concept that men look good in pink. Pink is not the new Black. All of a sudden, Douche-Bags are walking around looking like Pepto-Bismol bottles.

The Good, the Bad, and the Lazy

There is an epic battle going on between the Rich and Greedy and the Poor and Lazy. The Poor are blaming all of the economic woes on the Rich while the Greedy are blaming all of the economic woes on the Lazy. The Unfortunate Middle class, on the other hand, is either stuck in the crossfire or getting involved in the finger pointing. This puts together our Modern Day Western: "The Good, the Bad, and the Lazy"

On one end we have Annette Yeomans, the CFO of Quality Woodworks (who laid off workers while simultaneously embezzled $10,000,000). On the other end we have people like the "Octomom" a.k.a. Clown Car Coochie (my personal nickname for her).

Yeomans is just a marginal example on how certain members of the upper class have masterminded financially raping the middle to lower classes. She ran up $25,000 worth of American Express charges every week and paid it all off with company funds the following Monday. If you do the math, you can calculate that she has been doing this for about seven years. I'm not sure if this was a direct result but the company was then forced to layoff workers. I am not implying that the skyrocketing rate of lay-offs and unemployment is due to Greedy (and sometimes Criminal) Company Officials, but please note that it took seven years for an investigation to even take place. What else has been going on under our noses and more importantly, how long has it been going on?

Clown Car Coochie is a classic example of how certain members of the lower class have gotten used to relying on handouts financed by Taxpayers. I will admit Clown Car Coochie is only in the spotlight because the Economy is in a bit of a funk and a lot of people (including me) will consider her the Poster Girl of welfare abuse, but you have to consider that she has been popping out babies while single and unemployed for a while...even when economic times were better. The bottom line is: if you can't feed them, don't breed them. She knew she could keep popping out those little bastards because she KNEW she was going to get help and most of all, sympathy.

Hey! Did you hear that Denny's is having a breakfast event called The Octomom Special? It comes with 14 eggs, no sausage, and everyone else in the restaurant has to chip in and pay for it.

The only company official I will respect is the one that doesn't steal from his/her employees, they may be rich, but they are not greedy. The only welfare mother that I will respect is one trying to get off welfare, they may be poor, but they are not lazy.

The weird thing is I think it's amazing how we live in a country that claims to be in economic trouble but can still spend $55,200,000 over the weekend to see the movie Watchmen. Plus the shopping malls are still packed on Saturdays.

What about us? You know the good ol' middle working class people stuck in this shitty American Sandwich. We work hard enough to not be considered poor but we don't make enough to be considered rich. The Middle Working Class is currently caught up in pointing fingers at whose fault it is. If I had to generalize things, it seems as if the Republicans are pointing at the Lazy and the Democrats are pointing at the Greedy.

Liberation for American Women

The Vatican newspaper says that perhaps the washing machine did more to liberate women in the 20th century than the pill or the right to work. This newspaper article really got me to thinking: how in the world can this be true? I can think of a few items, events, and inventions that could possibly be considered the most Liberating thing that Women experienced in the 20th century.

Let me first address a possible reason why this newspaper mentions Washing Machines. If washing machines did anything for women it was probably free up a shit load of time. Laundry has come a long way from washboards, clotheslines, and irons that could only be heated by an open fire. But would you really consider a time saving invention a liberating item for women? You can make the same argument with TV diners, frozen vegetables, and microwaves. I'm sure if the washing machine was never invented, Women would still be pretty much still be liberated in this country, there would just be a whole lot of domestic disputes over who's turn is was to do the laundry.

Consider the Birth Control Pill. Trust me, this gave women the final say in the "power of conception," but when you really think about it, this was probably more liberating for men than women. No offense to children or anything (fuck, they shouldn't be reading this anyway) but what could be more "Un-liberating" than the general task of parenthood? I bet the pill seriously reduced the number of Single Mothers and Would-Be Dead Beat Dads. I bet it sucks being a single mother and dead beat dads...well they just suck.

Consider World War II. This was the golden opportunity for women to step up to the plate and say "Hey, Fellas, we'll hold down the Fort while you are off to war," and that's what they did. They had a chance work and hold positions that were formerly unavailable to them. We are talking factories, offices, and even military positions opened up and the Women workforce was never looked at the same again afterwards.

You can't consider Women's Sufferage (the right to vote) a huge milestone. The 19th Amendment wasn't ratified until the 1920's and back then, no matter who they voted for, the president would most likely be a male chauvanist. I think of chauvinism a lot like racism: it may not be as bad as it was, but it will always exist.

Hey: What do Veggie Burgers and Dildos have in common? They are both substitutes for real meat. All jokes aside, let's please consider the Dildo. Ok one more joke: What do Dildos and Men have in common? They both could care less whether or not she enjoyed it. Ok...no seriously, I'm not sure when it was "officially" invented, but if it was in the 20th century, I'm pretty sure it would be a shoe-in for the award of Most Liberating Thing to Happen to Women in the 20th Century. Sexual Liberation is often overlooked but should be just as much as a factor as Financial liberation (Oprah Winfey), Social liberation (Ellen DeGeneres), Judicial liberation (Judge Judy), Economical liberation (Suze Orman) or Political liberation (Hillary Clinton).

Random Mind Dumplings 6

*After being convinced by a long time Friend of mine, I have decided to allow comments at the bottom of my posts...remember...be nice.
*I wish there was a way to tax Illegal Immigrants.
*I've been doing pretty good on my "decreased beer consumption initiative."
*Women should never complain about a man who played video games excessively. Would you rather him hang out at Hooters or Strip Clubs?
*I'm afraid of putting certain thoughts up here because of certain consequences, so if you know me, I'll find a way to tell you how I really feel. Cuss words and all. :-)
*You should be allowed to purchase Beer and Alcohol on Sundays in Georgia! The people that created that damn law have never been drunk before!
*I'm turning 30 this year and I'm already thinking about retirement. So many people that I work with are doing it and I really feel like I'm missing out.
*I think it is weird that even though the economy seems to be failing, the porn industry has been thriving.
*Open Minded People are disappointed less often. Close Minded People bitch a lot. Think about it.
*There is a very thin line between confidence and arrogance. Can you succesfully define both?

The Last Leaf of Fall

*I wrote this back in 1999 when I started to realize that I really had to grow up...but didn't really want to. I still don't think I have.*

My childhood mind always wandered off,
When the winds of time whispered in my ear,
Telling me to prepare for anything,
Because the future is always unclear.
I once was an energetic dreamer,
Who ran wild in green grass without a care.
Back then my future meant nothing to me.
I just seized the days of the summer flair.

I can think of nothing but my past,
As I sit here staring out the window,
Searching the sunshine for simple reasons why,
My past lurks in my future’s shadow.
Now my friends in grade school have gone their own ways.
The grass in my field has died and turned brown.
My playground is covered with spider webs and vines.
I wonder if I can return to that town.

I’ve wrongfully neglected my distant past,
That’s why I’m stuck on my uncomfortable present.
I’m afraid to face this oncoming future.
My situation might turn rough and unpleasant.
I’ve been searching the stars in the night sky,
Like the curious eyes of a baby.
Desperately searching for reasons why,
The future I face is so shady.

My future is like a perpetual day.
I’m facing an unpredictable dawn.
It’s like speeding down life’s dark highway,
Driving faster without my headlights on.
I’m looking into my cloudy rear view,
Viewing the darkest depths of my past.
My childhood colors are no longer vivid,
My memories have become gray photographs.

I’ve feared the unclear for so many years,
I was wrong for letting memories die.
While I was obsessed with material things,
My life was slowly passing me by.
I dealt with my dreams, not my reality.
I was disrespectful towards my mom and dad.
I was so concerned with what I wanted,
I forgot about the things I already had.

I miss the days I would explore the hills,
And climb to the top of the highest tree.
I miss the nights I’d sing to the moon,
And see it’s pale face stare down at me.
Have I changed that much since I lived those days,
Where the sun would shine and bright lights would fly?
Where stars were like candles in the dark sky,
Gently flickering as winds passed them by?

My days of cut off shorts and shirts are over.
On those midnight streets I can no longer dance.
Now I am working a full time job,
Living in dress shirts and khaki pants.
The season in my life is now changing.
The first focus of change starts with me.
The last leaf of fall has fallen to the ground.
The first blossom of spring has blossomed on the tree.

Random Mind Dumplings 5

*Wouldn't be funny if the Sperm Doner of the "Octo-mom" was a Brad Pitt wannabe?
*Ken Griffey Jr. picked Seattle over Atlanta. As scary as it is for me to admit it... I don't blame him.
*The guy who took the picture of Phelps taking a bong hit probably spent all of his (or her) royalty rights for the picture's money on what Phelps was smoking.
*I think that for every complaint you have about the economy, you should have a solution...or consider someone Else's solution.
*Everybody who wants to judge somebody usually is too scared to be somebody themselves.
*How is Porn different from Prostitution? I don't mean to put down Porn Stars or anything but, you get paid for it just like they do...don't you?
*I wonder if Porn Stars have good 401K plans.
*If I was an Indian, my name would be "Farts-in-Sleep." I'm kidding...seriously. It would most likely be "Writes-Shitty-Blogs."
*Jose Canseco was right all along about all of this Steroid stuff...even when it came to A-Rod. I'm just glad none of this is affecting the Braves (knock on wood...knock on wood...knock on wood)!
*I bet a lot of people out there are doing a little less complaining about their jobs lately. Are you one of those people???

Random Mind Dumplings 4

*Michael Phelps smokes from a bong! Well cancel Christmas! I'd like to shoot everyone raising hell about this. I'm tired of the parents out there saying "what about the children...what about the children?" If your kids are smart, this is what they'll learn from this: earn 8 Olympic gold medals...and then do something stupid. Until then, do something with your live's while you still have them!!!!!
*Thinking about drugs in Athletes, Barry Bonds just seems to keep sinking deeper and deeper into a world of $hit from a sum of his past demons and dishonesty...Karma works in crazy ways.
*Thinking about Karma, I'm really starting to get into "My Name is Earl." I dare anyone to try to watch that show without laughing.
*Thinking about dares, when you really think of it...no matter how stupid the dare is...there is always someone dumb enough to take it.
*Enough of the "Thinking" thoughts.
*If Women knew when to shut up and if Men knew when to listen...imagine how different most relationships would be...
*Ask yourself: which is more affective; abstinence education vs. safe sex education? Resisting natural urges vs. preventing the spread of STDs and risk of pregnancy? Don't do it at all vs. If you have to do it, be smart about it and protect yourself? Get my drift? Which is more realistic?
*If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you do? I'd just hang out in the women's locker room.

MLK Day & Inauguration

It took a heated Presidential race in this day and age for people to realize how divided this country really was and a lot of people displayed their true "colors" in 2008. There were the well-informed as well as the ignorant on both sides. What a lot of people don't understand is that although the country was almost spit in half over this past election, everyone that showed up at the polls and waited in line had at least one thing in common: they wanted what's best for this country.

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A majority of the voters waiting in line felt that the gas prices were too high no matter who they voted for. A majority of the voters waiting in line felt that the economy needed some desperate attention no matter who they voted for. A majority of the voters were concerned over the steadily increasing unemployment rate no matter who they voted for. With all of these similarities, Americans simply disregarded the fact that they all had the same problems, and instead fought about how different their solutions were.

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I am about 98% sure that Obama wants to be known as the 44th American President, not the 1st Black President. I'd rather he be constantly reminded what his job is as opposed to what color he is. This past election should have been a Blue vs. Red issue not a Black vs. White issue. I think MLK was going for the same thing. MLK would have looked down on the people that wanted Obama in office just because he is a Black Man; just like he would have looked down on the people that wanted McCain in office because they didn't want their next President to be a Black Man.

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MLK wanted people to put more emphasis on their similarities than their differences. He wanted little black girls to jump rope with little white girls based on the simple fact that both girls liked to jump rope. If he was alive today to see the inauguration, I believe he would be more overjoyed in the diversity of Obama supporters than the color of Obama's skin.

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When you really think of it, the MLK dream will not be a complete reality until a Klan Member and I share a pitcher of beer at a strip club together after we both forget our differences and focus on the fact that we love to see naked women dance.

January Blue

*This poem was written January of '98 during my first Georgia winter. I was feeling kind of down during the final phases of serious home sickness.*

Well, there were times I’d fly,
Through the January sky.
I didn't care weather or not I lived or I died.
I used to cry but then my tears had dried.
So, though that sky I flew,
Sadness blocked my view.
I didn't know what to think or know what to do.
It's true, I longed to see the sky so blue.
But, the sadness brought pain.
Clouds full of storm rain,
Came down on my wings and I went insane.
I changed; things were never going to be the same.
So, why did things go crazy?
My whole world grew shady.
The fearsome darkened clouds just dazed me.
Oh please just save me from this road life paved me.

Random Mind Dumplings 3

*The gym that I go to had a huge surge in Memberships this past week. I wonder why…..

*The problem with Liberals is that they make brand new mistakes. The problem with Conservatives is that they prevent old mistakes from being corrected.

*A huge pet peeve of mine is people that try everything possible to loose weight OTHER than diet and exercise. I completely understand that it is hard to do both, but if it was easy then every one would be their desired weight.

*I think the majority of people that are pro-life would never consider adoption.

*Mississippi was ranked #1 in teen pregnancies last year. The State says it’s because of the lack of sex education funding. I’d say it’s because of dumb asses having unprotected sex.

*I don't mean to upset any Arizona or Baltimore Football Fans (remember that I pretend to have a huge audience), but I'd like to see a Pennsylvania Dominated Superbowl this year.

*Instead of New Year's Resolutions, I tend to make Birthday Resolutions only because I am not making a sacrifice the same time everyone else is making sacrifices of their own.

*You know you are getting old when you see a playboy model that was born in 1989.

*Why are their still people bitching about the results of last year’s election? You guys are acting like Obama was selected by the Supreme Court after a voting ballot screw up in Florida. Wait, didn’t that already happen?

Spell Saggin Backwards

I'll just say this right off the bat: The only thing more pointless than sagging is creating a law to stop it. There are two groups of ignorant people here. The people that are trying to make sagging a punishable crime are just as ignorant as the people that sag in the first place.

You should appreciate people who sag. It lets you know who the ignorant really are. Plus, do you really want Law Enforcement Officers to take time out of their day to write out tickets while well dressed drunk drivers, rapists, and criminals do what they do best? How is sagging hurting you? The only sensible place to outlaw sagging would have to be in a place where a dress code is enforced, which makes sense because the first place that comes to mind are Schools.

Other than that, you can't really tell ignorant adults what to do, let alone make the act of purposefully showing your boxers a crime. If there is one thing I can't stand, it is someone who wants to create all the laws they want, but not do anything to enforce them. There are much bigger issues that need to be dealt with prior to raising hell about something as minuscule as wearing your pants low intentially. What are you going to go after next, People who wear their hats any other way than forward?

For all of the people who do sag, have you ever asked yourself why you do it? Does constantly pulling them up appeal to you? Do you love the feeling of having a waistband (or even worse: a belt) right underneath your butt cheeks? I never really understood sagging even though I remember doing it for about three days back when I was 11 but I also remember wearing overalls with one strap unhooked too. Both were temporary trends that I did only because I saw someone else doing it. The difference between me and people my age who sag is that I grew up. Can anyone who sags tell me why they do it? If you give me that bullshit line, "it's a form of expression," I'd really like to know what the fuck you are trying to express.

Here's a little history lesson for ya: Sagging originated from the way Children of families with low incomes who had to prematurely wear large hand-me-down pants from their older siblings. It is also an unwritten prison code: the more you sag, the more you are soliciting yourself for sex in exchange for protection. So unless you are forced to wear your older brother's clothes due to financial limitations or you are currently incarcerated and need to sell some penitentiary poon-tang in exchange for being some Turd Tapper's Bitch, what's the purpose of sagging?

Me? A Woman Beater?

I was raised by good parents.
I know because they always told me,
If you don't have the words to calm her verbally,
Then you don't have the right to beat her physically.
Why would I waste time to beat up a woman,
When I don't have the time to beat up a man.
When it comes to conflicts, I don't have to lift a finger.
I may raise my voice, but not my hand.

Why use fists when my words fight for me?
I don't need to get physical towards her.
She doesn't even need verbal abuse from me!
I could either listen, or just ignore her.
I don't beat Women because I don't need to.
Beating her ass wont do me good at all.
If it comes down too it, I'll just argue.
They can't throw you in jail for a verbal brawl.

The man who turns his back on the woman,
Has bigger balls than the man who hits her.
If cops hit the scene, who are they going to believe?
The beaten woman or the man who lost his temper?
If you think of me as a woman beater,
Then I guess you don't know me that well.
Beating her ass isn't worth it, I'm not stupid.
I know what happens to women beaters in jail.