I'm Running Out of Gas

...and I'm tired.

If you get nervous or anxious before you are about to be married, it's called "having cold feet."  What if you are nervous or anxious before you are about to be...become a Parent?

Sometimes I reluctantly rejoice in the fact that barely anyone reads this "blog."  I feel a bit more comfortable writing stuff on here.  Maybe writing all of this is all for myself...so I hope that makes it worth it.  Most of the time I try to keep it funny and heavily laced in sarcasm, my favorite social weapon, but now I find myself running out of gas.

Like any other Dumb ass seeking personal improvement, I made a few New Year's resolutions. 

1. Quit fried food (not including fried okra...I'm only human). 

2.  Take better care of Lady Karma, the woman crazy enough to have my Child. 

3. Start kicking ass at work...be productive in the office, check e-mails more often from home, attend more field construction activities,  and make more presentations.  

The fried food resolution has been easy pretty far.  I wasn't much of a chicken finger, french fry, mozzarella stick, and onion ring kind of guy.  Taking care of Lady Karma is something I can do in my sleep.  Taking better care will take work.  Sometimes I can't help but to feel as if I could do more for her.  I've stepped things up a bit at work.  I have even gotten into the habit of checking e-mails after dinner.  I even volunteered to make a presentation 12 days before Lady Karma's due date...shit...did I just say "due date?"  I'm within 40 days of becoming a father???

Guess what's missing from this list??? What about FATHERHOOD???  How the hell am I going to put something on my self improvement list when I have never done this before?  What have I gotten myself into!?  Am I going to be any good at this?Will I be a good Dad and change diapers, while simultaneously stepping on the gas pedal of my career, becoming a better husband, and never eating a hot wing again?????  I'm running out of gas.

The following three items are what keeps me going:

1.  No Man that I have ever respected has come up to me and said "Holy Shit, I wish I never had kids!"

2.  If having children was such a horrible experience, wouldn't we all be only children?

3.  No one has died after giving up fried foods.

~If you are still out there...thank you for reading.

-Karma