Out of all the friends I had to leave behind in Vacaville, California I miss one the most. He would have been 30 years old today. I'm not one to linger on depressing issues so I usually do what I do best...avoid those issues. I can't avoid this issue today because this IS his day. He was my best friend and his name was Tyler Golson.
Many people that know me would most likely classify me as a "teenage boy trapped in a man's body." I would sugar coat that by saying that I "grew old before I ever grew up." There is a reason behind all of this immaturity. I have been having a hard time getting past the mindset of a 17 year old which is the same age Tyler was when he passed away. His death was the end of a huge chapter of my life that I have never wanted to close.
In my mind, the chapter will always stay open. I often have different types of dreams in which I find out that his death was a hoax. The most frequent dream is that instead of dying, he fell into a coma. In these dreams, he regains conciousness and we spend hours upon hours of catching up on all the stuff he missed out on since June 15, 1996, the day he died.
I'd like to see the look on his face when I tell him that they have made three X-Men movies (our favorite comic book out of all the ones we collected). I often imagine how he would react to me signing onto X-Box live and watching me play next generation video games with people around the country. I would like to take him to a strip bar and show him how fun it is to flirt and interact with women (even naked ones).
So when you really think about it, the first three things that come to my mind if I ever was to see him again would be comic books, video games, and strippers...just like your typical teenage boy. Sometimes I have the mindset of a 17 year old; I want to still be able to relate to him when he comes back. In the end, I don't know what's worse, waking up realizing it was all just a dream or waking up, looking in the mirror, and realizing that I am staring at the face of someone who is almost almost 30.
The fourth X-Men movie is coming out May 1rst and I plan to go see it. It will be one of the last movies I see in my twenties. Sometimes I feel like I'm leaving him behind. I just can't see myself getting older without him, and yet, I am getting older without him.
2 comments:
Oh gosh! I don't know why I read this. I miss him too. The picture frame that has held his picture has finally busted, I need to get a new one. Not something I'm particularly looking forward to. Of all the people I know that have passed, he's the one I would bring back in a heartbeat! I miss him too!
I remember he used to go on those skiing trips with you and your family. Do you remember how he always used to wear that Giants Cap backwards? Whenever he would come back from those trips, he would have a tanline right in the middle of his forehead.
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