October 24, 2011

Karma's Kronicles 2

The Exclusive Club In The Sky

In order for me to go to heaven, I have to accept and have faith that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior and he died for my sins on the cross.  Before my death, I must ask forgiveness to all of my sins.  Some Radical Muslims believe that they will receive a shitload of virgins in their heaven when they die after committing a terrorist act that takes other lives.  No matter what angle you approach it, getting in to "Heaven" is a difficult task.

When you really think about it the only people that make it seem as if you are "missing out" in not going to Heaven are religious people.  I once labeled Heaven as a "Secret Club in the Sky," but was immediately reminded that the concept of Heaven really isn't such a secret.  Maybe it should be thought of as an Exlcusive Club in the Sky.  You have to jump through certian hoops to get there right?  You'll have to have a particular track record to get through St. Peter's velvet rope...just to join people that jumped through the same hoops.

Keep in mind that you are not going to be in Heaven with the people that didn't jump through the same hoops that you did.  Good-hearted Christians won't get to chill in heaven with Non-violent Hindu Monks.  If an Isreali soldier and a Palestinian soldier kill eachother in battle (on behalf of eachother's respective religion), which one goes to hell?  The one that didn't accept Christ?  Ghandi seemed like a pretty cool guy...did he get past the velevet rope?

I'd love to redefine Heaven, but I can't.  If I could, it would be a Club that allowed the people that had the most positive impact on this world over the course of their lifetime.  I'm glad MLK Jr. will be up there, but is he just lucky because he was influenced by his Reverend Father, MLK Sr?  Stephen Hawking is an Athiest, but look what he has brought to the world in the study of Physics and Astronomy, he would be denied entry.  The Dalai Lama wont be allowed in the club either.  There are a handfull of people that are going to heaven that I really don't think belong up there...like Shirley Phelps.  According to her, Homosexuals are going to burn in hell with Ghandi. 

The Good News, in general, is that The Heaven Club seems to get good reviews all around.  The Bad News, in retrospect, is that all the reviews are coming from people who have never been there.  Maybe that's the problem with "Heaven," too many people, who have never been there before, have an opinion on the Club's Code off Conduct.

To me, Life is a like waking up in the middle of a huge party.  You don't know how you got there or how you are getting home.  You know to just enjoy yourself with the time you have and ensure that others do the same...even after you go "Home."

October 21, 2011

Random Mind Dumplings 18

*Don't tell anybody this (remember that YOU are the only one reading this blog) but I am really looking forward to being a Father.  It's the same type of nervous excitement I felt before track meets in high school.  All the nervousness went away after after I heard the starting gun and the race was on.  I'm sure my Fatherhood nervousness will go away once I am able to hold the my guy/girl.

*The Occupiers are just as idiotic as the Tea Party members in that they are blaming ALL of their problems one one specific group and think protesting will erase all of their concerns.  My biggest concern is one day becoming broke...therefore I work.

*Moammar Gadhafi's Wife just changed her Facebook relationship status from "Married" to "Single."

*Bullying is becomming overrated.  It's not a problem that is getting worse, Children are just bigger pussies these days. 

*I should start a betting pool as to which Evil Middle-Eastern Dictator will get killed next.

*The creepy Burger King mascot has been axed!  Thank God...maybe I'll start eating there again.  That "King" gave my Wife nightmares.  We live in a day and age where you really don't need goofy mascots to sell food.

*I didn't realize how important Steve Jobs was until he died.  His life story is going to make one hell of a movie and I'm not even into Apple products. 

*I would LOVE for Herman Cain to get the Republican Nomination for President.  It will be a good opportunity to see how many Republicans and TEA Party members (who claim that race is not a factor in their decisions) would vote for the Libertarian Nominee.  I'd really like to see him debate Obama too.  The ratings will soar!

*If you could ask a Porno Star one question, what would it be?